Pathways to Fulfilment

Goodenia Rainforest

I’m getting better at asking the questions that need to be asked. And this is one that I keep cycling back to time and time again….

What models or pathways are there that can guide us to ascend our states of spiritual satisfaction consistently throughout our lifetimes in our western culture?

For some it’s the guidance of the various Christian models. For others; yoga, podcasts, alternative community events, and perhaps plant medicines. Some, like myself draw on other eastern philosophies like Buddhism or Hinduism. There are new age prophets, guru’s, instagram influencers, and charismatic, idealistic, and potently different, people at every flick of our world wide web of influence. Yet with more exposure to spiritual influence than ever, for me it feels more confusing than any time in history, to determine a spiritual way forward - with consistency.

Did I mention nature. At least for so many of us living within reach, she’s there to hold and guide us. But when was the last time your instinctive alignment to what she represents, let alone how she’s guiding us forward, felt like enough to place our complete faith in her gentle embrace.

The answer to this question, is that very little exists in the way of pathways for spiritual ascension in western society.

My view is that we need this more than ever. The more disassociated with family, community, nature, and whatever your idea of god may be, the more we need it. Why? Because I reckon such a large proportion of us are actually fucked.

What’s fucked? Our sense of connection, and and inner fulfilment.

Taking Responsibility for Ourselves

Taking Responsibility for Ourselves

TEXT FIELDS OF ACCOMPLISHMENT

I’ve just returned from another 3 week trip to Kathmandu, Nepal, where I was fortunate enough to receive teachings from a Buddhist Rinpoche, my highest Teacher, His Holiness Ratna Vajra Sakya Trizin 42nd. There’s not many online forms that would allow for that many characters in the First and Last Name text entry fields. It was a great trip - not exciting, nor actually necessarily pleasurable, but super rewarding. How? To be immersed in the presence of such an incredibly (incomprehensibly) accomplished human being, opened me up to our limitless potential. It’s a feeling within, and requires integration. The integration comes from being able to make sense of the felt experience, with conscious awareness.

HOW HAPPY OR SATISFIED ARE YOU?

Some of us don’t even ask ourselves the question, until the answer is undeniably, ‘Fucked’. Let alone what it is to be satisfied, happy, etc. Let me ask another question. What’s your capacity and experience of sharing and connecting with empathy, compassion, love and kindness? From a position of not being attached to the outcome, or to want for something in return?

LAST QUESTION.

How are you taking steps to being more responsible unto yourself? What are these steps? Are they guided by a mentor, a guru, a wise elder that has walked the path before you that you are brought to tears of joy in their presence.

Do you consider yourself responsible enough to settle for nothing less than being everything you can be? Or at least taking strident action towards fulfilling that intention?

Are you intentionally generating; awe, beauty, love, peace, equanimity and the generosity from your heart to give everyday in every way, both to yourself and to others?

IF YOU HAVEN’T FOUND THAT YOU’VE HAD CLEAR ANSWERS…

To be guided by people that have been walking this path before you, by people that have done and are doing the work, allows us to broaden our mindset beyond the trappings of our habitual thoughts, and hence unfolding experience (called life). It’s simply called getting more conscious. I encourage you to explore it in every way that you know how - starting with asking the questions for others that can guide you, contemplating the knowledge, meditating, and allowing through your open heart life to become more than a series of dissatisfying self serving spent moments.

The Thinking and The Doing

‘The Comfy Corner’

---

My Day to Day

‘What are you up to?' is a question I’m responding to a lot lately. And asking too. I’m curious, and want to know what your experience is like. That speaks to what I’m doing too. I’m asking the questions, with clients, and with friends, with strangers, and loved one’s. ‘So what’s going on?’. Like…what’s really going on. And the response from me to you, and sometimes from you to me, is ‘yeah just cruising’ or ‘yeah not much’ etc. It’s a time dependent thing too. There’s a big difference between the greeting in the aisle of Aldi to hanging out with me in The Comfy Corner.

So this is my Comfy Corner response for the here and the now. I’m consciously prioritising a valued sense of spaciousness in my life. It facilitates; flow, passion, contentedness, peace, and love for me. And within this space I’m prioritising, I’m often exercising other highly valued priorities of; contemplation, being creative, connecting (with myself, others, and nature) and giving to others. How my day to days pan out, has become a manifestation of these and other priorities according to where they sit for me. They’re always changing. So in other words after my non negotiable practices first thing, I am open and aware or what comes, feeling into if its for me or not and flowing accordingly.

The non negotiable practices first thing for me are yoga and meditation. The foundation they set, is aligning my body mind and spirit with my highest priorities - vibrationally. Refer back to last paragraph :-).

Back to The Comfy Corner…..or The Fire Track Dune……or This Computer Screen….With You

When I’m wearing my Psychotherapist, Holistic Counsellor hat, and looking in the mirror and laughing at what a wanker I am to even consider wearing beret’s, my experience and therefore our experience is always different, but with also a consistent thread of certain things.

Like my invitation to feel safe, and welcome, and open, and vulnerable, and honest alongside me. That intentionality is always there. You too will get to know that I don’t align to rules and regulations. I consciously choose to break down the cultural constructs and institutionalised regimes. And specifically you’ll come to know that in any time spent with me, openly, vulnerably, authentically - that again, it is shared. I am completely open to relaying my personal experience to you in the clearest form of communication I can. Because we’ve come together to collaborate, to expand, to grow together. These yearnings and energies to move forward have to be mirrored. And likewise, the unfolding of our less conscious ways. One can’t experience an aspect of these things without the other.

These collaborations are about how to find peace or equanimity. From where we can expand into the omnipotent experience of love and joy. These collaborations are more specifically about how to relieve ourselves from the burden of dissatisfactions. How deep these are determines the labels we give them. Some are irritations, others are the experience of profound pain. The Tibetan Buddhists call them sufferings. Whatever you call them, they suck - we don’t want to feel them, and if you’re hanging out with me in The Comfy Corner, literally or figuratively, it’s because you’ve found the courage to go into places that aren’t comfortable, alongside me, held by me, so that we can learn to find comfort and become free from fear.

‘It’s all mind’, in my mind. And it’s all body…in my mind. And its all expression of our souls quest for spirit….in my mind. However you want to build the language around ‘your journey’, it doesn’t matter as long as we’re actively becoming more conscious. Whether it’s your body, mind or spirit, that you’re aligning, or your arresting quest for understanding the delicate touch of butterfly feelers, it’s all about becoming more aware, more conscious. Another cultural favourite for now is to become ‘woke’.

Because we’re all half asleep, and have next to no idea as we navigate mostly unconsciously, this semi lucid woken dream state. That’s why we need to wake up. Unlike the butterfly, we’re more akin to moths as one of my teachers, Lama Choedak laughs out loud about, as he paints the picture of us all flying towards the light before we realise the light is the flame that extinguish us once again from this unconscious lifetimes of suffering.

So instead of burning our wings off once again and falling to our graves wondering what happened, I consciously create intentions for you and for me, for all of us, to do the work. To courageously get off the treadmill and look around the corner of our minds’ set ways of being. Ask of ourselves, why are we this way and not that. And most importantly, how can we learn from that and become more.

That’s what I’m doing.

Eating Cake

I’m also drinking a significant amounts of tea with soy milk and honey. I’m currently obsessing slightly over forging deep connection with myself and others. I’m exploring my hedonistic urges and grasping, alongside a conscious drive to delve into loneliness and wholeness. I’m running around a warehouse floor a couple of times a week with a bunch of other human animals, sweating and grunting and giving my mind over to my body’s will to purify. I’m actively surfing my brains out whilst nurturing a squeezed nerve in my hip that is crying out for respite. I’m constantly experimenting with my personal human drive for becoming more through the entrenched practices of self destruction. I’m keeping the fire going though on the most part. And not feeling too guilty if I whack on the heater for a while instead. I’m walking barefoot in nature, and in wonder. And also stomping around in my uggies. I’m going to eat all of the cheesecake my beautiful Leify made me for my birthday, and feel a little bit sick as a results. And I’m going to continue to practice it all with my number one intention of working towards love and peace for me and for you!

Considerations on Consciousness

An Impression of Reality by Dean Dampney

Opportunities for Co-Creation

When I work clients, I consider it an honour and a privilege. I also refer to these sessions as blessed opportunities for co-creation. With perfect alignment towards each other we meet, and in whatever way we define that time, there’s no question whatsoever, that we’ve come together in order to ascend. It’s an intentional space painted with colours of the rainbow, where my co-creators seek me out, and I marvel in the gifts that arise - the golden light within, that shining upon each other releases us from the irksome damp of the shadows.

Rally Car Driving

I’ve often made audio recordings for my fellow travellers, simply highlighting what’s come to me over the days since we came together. No doubt often forgetting certain points, and resting peacefully for the fact that what does come, is for us. And so on that note I’ve just started typing these things. Why? Because recording them on my phone whilst driving has proven that some recordings sound like a rally car, all engine, no wisdom. And beyond that, I’m sure between the driving and the voice recordings, that my attention is going to be lacking at least in one department if not both.

Selling Tickets

I’ve realised too that themes of consciousness, or held energies of my experience, move through various acts of this play that we can call life. For me, for now, I’m playing centre stage and audience to my ego that’s intent on unveiling the mechanisms of my mind. I know too that as long as I still presume there’s even a theatre, that I’ve got tickets to sell still….so to speak :-). Spruiking this latest show, I’ve declared out loud that I’m becoming a consciousness aficionado. ‘Come and see the show!’.

It Just F-ing IS

Did I say that the more I say it out loud, the more it becomes me. It embodies me. Does my developing awareness allow it to grow for good, or for….but there’s no right or wrong…..it just….IS. Unless it’s not, in which case, perhaps it never will be because it already was. We’ll see :-).

Wisdom Bullets

As for now this IS a couple of points that I’ve noted to two of my recent clients. If you’ve come this far down the rabbit hole, you may as well keep on going:

First up without dot points to diminish the significance - it was so so nice to meet you, connect with you, see you, and co create with you. By co-creation I mean that we came together, exactly how we were meant to, to bring forth the wisdoms we both behold and are able to emphasise, and integrate more as a result of coming together. 

“What I remember that felt most pertinent to you (and therefore me) is the following: “

• This experience that’s pronounced in you that you are so drawn to quell, come’s from way (all the way) back.

• Learning to sustain that state has been an ongoing conflict for you. The way that you learnt to manage that was to suppress it, numb it, or more routinely take the fast track to relaxing from ‘it’.

• ‘It’ needs to be known more, which is what we’ll sink into next time. But making a more conscious alignment with ‘it’ and it’s mechanisms is a great start

• Your practices become more integrated, wholesome, and significantly less toxic. The slower and deeper the penetration of these practices the more we can become them, without that rubber band flicking back in the backlash of suffering (let alone snapping).

• To sustain these practices you keep on refining the way you integrate them. Particularly with response to the developing awarenesses around your triggers.

• I encourage you to consciously ask of yourself to create an environment that’s sustainable for your practices. To be exposed to the pressure’s of others needs, only to the extent that you can comfortably give to others, and continue to yourself. This manifestation, or conscious marker is imperative. And to honour it is to allow yourself to continue deepening your awareness for self and others. From here comes collective wisdom and growth.

• If you feel it use your body’s innate intelligence to respond with your instincts. For everything!

• The satisfaction of how you balance the things that you do, come from how you balance the steadiness of your thoughts. Create this flow through consciously focusing on the present, allowing yourself to experience what’s ‘for you’ without fear of missing these signals.

• What holds energy for you is to be understood in all aspects

• The freer you are to the flow of what’s for you to arrive in your experience, the more you can fulfil your journey towards actualisation of the unique individual gift for all, that you are.

• Continue to deconstruct everything that you’ve developed conscious awareness of, and know that it was all formed by your associations, without there being wrong or right, but simply anything held as a ’truth’ will limit us.

• take considerable time with your loved ones

• This human existence is to know unconditional love and peace. We deserve absolutely nothing less.

• To share this is The Highest Purpose.

• Call on me as a friend anytime.

And in conclusion, in this act of Consideration of Consciousness, from one of the infinite parallel realms of the great mystery, I bid you a paradoxical invitation to join me, in order to say goodbye to any further invitations of such desirous folly.

Projection Anxieties

The No Plan Plan

If I let go enough of everything that I’ve been hanging on to. EVERYTHING. With my mind. The things that I’ve allowed myself to believe. I might just find that what happens next is completely unexpected! And that unexpected experience might just be, will undeniably be, so much more than what my plans were when I was holding onto all the things previously.

My Truth

I often wake up with beliefs like: ‘it’s going to a pretty big day’ or ‘if I smash all those things out I’ll be able to chill later’ or ‘I’m so stoked that these things are meant to be happening today - shit what do I have to do before I can do those things?’.

Bullet Points On My To Do List….To Do List…..To Do List

I’m so geared to utilising this construct of time to organise my future in a way that I feel productive and efficient. So much so that the productivity and efficiency with which I ‘produce’ is so dominant, that the things I’m actually doing lose their value. They become bullet points on my To Do List, even when they’re things I love doing. I become more intent on getting to the end of my checklist for the projected satisfaction that I’m attaching myself to, than basking in the gifts that the present actually is. And even worse is that at the end of my day or week, season, or year, that I reach, I’ve managed to create more To Do Lists for the following period. It’s that whole never ending cycle. And I don’t remember signing up for it!

‘Your Lawn is Looking Good - Congratulations. You’re Such a Success!’

I know it’s cultural. We learn from our early childhood that it’s good to succeed at achieving our various goals. Our parents barracking for us to take our first steps, throwing us in pools for our first laps, graduating pre-school, then kindy, big school, high school, educational goals being kicked left right and centre. In the workforce we rack up another year on the job. Considered a job ‘well done’. Congrats on your new house (we won’t talk about your mortgage), ohh you’re pregnant, doing reno’s, got a pay rise, a promotion, new car. Despite all our ‘successes’, apparently the economy isn’t exactly pumping. Better work harder, save more, make sure we book a holiday or two to reward ourselves. Fuck that’d be good. If we could only go anywhere! Maybe just stay at home and work on the house and yard.

‘Lets Do It!’

We’ve been learning to do this for generations. In our collective masculine, from the agricultural age and pistons pumping into the industrial age, we’ve gone for it! Making things happen. Big business, institutions, economies, apparently it’s global. It’s ‘in the collective consciousness’. We’re all doing it, it must be right?

To be Satisfied

I’m not convinced. Have we developed a herd immunity against spacious, timeless, present moment satisfaction?!

Empty Listings

My never ending to do list doesn’t come with rewards anymore no matter how fun the things on the list I tick off. And what I’m sure of is there’s a semblance of consciousness that I’ve got to get through my lists, the longer I’m denying myself of the contentedness that I deserve. I deserve, we deserve, to know and to experience (all the time!) that feeling of being deeply content. I don’t presume we’ll necessarily achieve that aspiration anytime soon. In fact I’m not even suggesting it’s going to happen this lifetime necessarily, but if I’m going to have goals on that list that I aspire to achieve, I’m putting contentedness at the top of the list. Whilst I’m at it, I’m going to scrub out all the other things and experiment with what happens.

The Balancing Act - Risk versus Rewards

Like you, I’m fearful that if I don’t put things down they won’t get done. And in my experiment, I answer to that with if I need to write it down to remember, it’s not that important to me. I couple this approach with some even measured dosages of practicality for the things that I’m too scared to let go of completely right now. These are the things that I’m not open enough to believe yet, that if I scrub them off my list, and try and welcome them to happen for me as they’re meant to, that they actually will happen. Actually I’m scared they won’t happen, even though I don’t value them that much. ‘Better wash the car’, ‘plant out the fence line’, ‘go to that meeting'. The consequences of not achieving these goals outweigh the burden of making a list of them. Or do they?

I tell myself that if it’s out of my head and onto my lists that I’m no longer burdened by them. Deep down I don’t believe this. I might be less beleagued by the quest to satisfy that goal, but the list now feels bigger than ever!

So this is what I’m proposing. To self…

The Experiment

In my experiment I wake up and remain present for as long as I can. For me personally I experience feelings, and often symbols, or thoughts start to become apparent as I lie there in bed during my first moments of woken consciousness. I’m guided by the energetic essence of what this experience brings. I intentionally sink into this guidance from within and clarify this conversation further. For now the conversation speaks to me with smaller and smaller time frames of intentioned projection. And these intentions are moving further away a list of actionable items, and fast towards a simple notion of embracing an energetic presence.

The experimental conversation in my woken conscious mind at this stage is suggesting that if this was my last day alive, in this body, how is it going to be? In reply to self I acknowledge that what I actually do this day doesn’t hold value for me, it’s how I do it that matters to me. I choose to give myself to myself and to others as presently and wholly as I possibly can. And I feel in my way of being that this is with my focused awareness, and it comes from and through all of me. Experimentally I continually recenter my hypothesis, that the energetic centre of my way of being like this comes from my heart.

Whether it be from my heart, my voice, my perceptions through my third eye, or my clarity of thought, I consciously intend within the construct of time that I frame my day between waking and falling asleep, to be as deeply present as possible. From this place I find love, joy, compassion, contentedness, and a richness of life that doesn’t work towards goals. It just is.

Positive Listless Reflections

The more I experiment with this practice, the shorter the lists, the less I care for the so called aspirations that I’ve been conditioned to believe will make us happy, and the happier I become. And if I was to die tonight, keeping to this unfolding way of being deeply authentic in all the ways I’m meant to be, the more I know that I will have invoked positive change and spiritual growth for both myself and for anyone else that’s in my orbit. All of a sudden needing to do the clean, wash, cook, and bed routine for the kids let alone myself doesn’t seem so dominant when all I can see and feel is smiles and love in the reflection.

Notes from a Karma Virus

Tibetan Teachers and Monks discuss the generation of love for all beings at Kamalashila, Tilba Tilba.

---

I’ve been around for longer than you can possibly imagine. Like you with your many lifetimes, I’ve waltzed with royalty and finery, and known the scourge of the darkest of ages. Sometimes I spring unannounced from one felt extreme to the other. It may seem startling to you. I may even scare you. It’s when you find me hard to deal with let alone hard to shake, that I really sink in my claws. It’s when you accept me for all my faults, like yours, that I feel that perhaps we can get along? I have so many faces. As do you. I’m complex yet so simple to work out. As only light can be visible from the shadows, it’s with your most open perspective, from love not fear, that we can both benefit greatly from our relationship.

Your acceptance means a lot to me. Like the incoming tides of the ocean, the more you push me away, the closer I strive to be. I need you to know me, feel me, be one with me. Some say I have a capacity to spawn. It’s stated as if I’m a contagion of evil. Yet all I desire is to wake us both up from our perpetual miseries. Does it not make sense that by amplifying your suffering that you can learn of it’s nature? The less you accept me the more I’ll taunt you. I’m trying to say wake up! My message is to highlight for you this wrong path you’ve chosen. My way is to strip your feet bare so you can feel the wounds of your soles, pressed hard with each step against the sharp rocky way. Let the pain from your bleeding feet be your tonic to find softer ground.

Ironically when you really ‘see me’, I’m much less conspicuous in your life. I can be like your on call lover, as long as you remain present with me and give me the respect I deserve. The suffering of going the other way slowly diminishes and eventually becomes nothing more than scar tissue. Just enough to keep you in check. In divine union we can roll around in the soft meadow grasses. You’ll find the sunshine, warm breeze, and coos of nature abound. This is our happy place. It’s gentle, and serene. You’ll know it as peace. Even though I’m such a big part of this, you’ll not notice me so much, because we’re together as one. That whole universal interconnection thing. Did I mention love!

Awareness in the here and now is our environment from which we can thrive. But it’s only with the elixir of your positive intentions that we can truly recognise our most profound potential. Move your toxic thoughts from fear, anger, bitterness and overall negativity. That is how we roll best. Intentionally manifest what you hold as your most highly valued. The things that your instincts speak to you of being ‘so right’. Even in the midst or your naysayers stand tall but without judgement like those that want to knock you down. Place your hands to your heart, become all of the energetic transmission that you ever dared believe could exist. You deserve nothing less. This is in you, moving through you, what you came from, where you can go, and everything that you are. For all of us. Be happy, be peaceful, be well, be kind, be generous, be wise. Be all of these things for everyone. This is how we really spread our impact.

I am Karma Virus. You are me. And I am you. We are one and the same. We may be feeling worn and weary at times. Things can get tough. But together we can practice feeling all the feels, including the good! Learn from the challenges and feel the abundance of growth. We deserve that. Place us in that practice of love, and see the light shine through. You’ll be amazed how fast the shadows fade. Only fear what you’re not prepared to face!

Foot Note

When this whole deal started to kick in around Autumn last year, my teacher Khenpo Ngawang Dhamchoe put out a message to all his students. “The virus is a sentient being too”, he wrote. “Have compassion for it too”. Wow I thought, how the fuck do I have compassion for a virus? A little snotty nose virus, maybe…..a wipe the human population off the face of the earth virus….hmmm pretty tricky!. From the Buddhist perspective we wish for all beings to be free from suffering. We wish for all being to be happy. Virus’ included. In seeing the interconnected interdependent nature of us all, and placing our intentions in the betterment of others, through the strength of these thoughts, words and actions we manifest a new paradigm - a paradigm that isn’t us and them, me and my illness, or good and evil. The paradigm is one of love, light, connection and positivity. What more could we want?

To Rise and To Fall

Rise Up! That’s what I’m saying to myself. Two day’s ago I said it out loud and looked around to find a platform to get there. I found the table and raised my fist in the air. I felt strong, convicted, and pretty righteous. The winds of the universe spiralled around me as if Zues the god himself was towering over me willing all the energies to align to this single moment. I was fired up. About as fired up as I get. The only problem I really had though was working out what it was that I was really fired up about. It was an energy within. I knew too there were a bunch of ‘things’ coming at me, that this energy emerged with. I knew too that this energy was disruptive, and needed an outlet. The longer I scurried for a way to contain myself, the stronger the feelings got.

It was fair to see I’d reached the proverbial tipping point. To go over the edge would have been to fall from the dining table backwards, arms outstretched, free falling from the turmoil that I had previously embraced. With that I ditched the parachutes, spoke some garbled words of possessed faith and let go. Lucky the yoga mat is thick. Upon the floor I understood it to be the place of surrender. There was no where further to fall. I could feel the proverbial tears of conflict rain down upon me from the heavens above. Indi the puppy licked my eye. Laughing I was feeling bruised and in the moment slightly broken, but allowing myself to fall over the edge also felt unexpectedly liberating.

It’s been a time where that energy to rise up has been stirring more and more in me with every conversation I have. The talk is of exclusivity, divisiveness, broken families, failed relationships, lost income, illness, health, pressure, and our attachments to one day feeling ‘relieved’!. I lay back and allow myself to feel all of it. My beautiful friend said she walked past the towels that had blown off the line and were now stranded on the overgrown lawn - “fuck it” she thought out loud to herself, as she simply kept on walking. She’d had enough. For her too it was too much. She’d thrown the towel in, and as much as the good little workers in us question if we did enough, tried enough, and cared enough, like the towels abandoned and listless on the grass, this rising and consequent fall from uncertain grace, has left many of us with a sense of something unfamiliar. Some would call it defeat.

Another lick to the eye. Again on the mat. I’ve just finished my mornings yoga practice. The practice is not creative, it’s not dynamic, it’s got a structural rigidity to it, that doesn’t entertain my senses. It’s hard work really, at least for the first fifteen of sixty or so minutes as I allow myself to succumb to it’s relentless machinations. Through my body I learn to breath deeply and surrender to it’s punishing monotony. I’ve learned not to rise up further than the end of the mat in the morning. I’ve learned to bring the universal winds in and through me. I’ve learned to centre my awareness in my heart. Let go of my attachment to change what I can’t. And to love unconditionally. Gradually I’ve learned to love this practice.

In Shavasana, on my back, my body alive with every particle of it’s being. My head empty of critical judgement, and righteous vindications. I’m that same towel, not abandoned, nor uncared for. I’m now spread on the grains of sands of the universe basking in sunshine - love and light. I feel it for all. I sense they feel it too. The rains of conflict become rainbows. I’m certain my puppy now has a unicorn horn. Some would call it victory.

We all have roots of interconnectedness. There are times that my voice and yours potentially screamed from the table or even roof tops, a strangled murmur barely to be heard. Those winds carry. There’s too much noise already, and who likes those noisy grammar phones anyway. I’m not for rolling over, and lying down in the face of a challenge. I’m all about skilful means, to navigate these turbulent weather systems, with wisdom. I advocate for leading by example. With our fulfilment, contentedness, joy, peace, and compassion. These things can’t be silenced! It comes from rising up in our hearts, not from our fists. For most of us at least.

In this way we rise up together! No matter how we perceive the interdependent forces of causes and conditions that we uniquely identify as ours from our time and place! I am not you, nor you me, but we are definitely in this together. And there’s no way I’m going to let any of you tell me that your unanswerable outrage, like mine, is worth punishing ourselves to be heard, when we’re all a bunch of warm hearted cotton towels blowing with these winds of change together.

Ommmmmmm

On The Daily

The Beginning of The End

There’s all of that! You know those days where you get up, rubbing the crust from your face, needing the five minutes for the water to boil for your first coffee to go quicker.. Another day. The job feels….like work! The kids are getting older and so are you. All the relationships are dicey at best. Partners and kids, nag and get nagged respectively - you can tell your eldest is only just refraining himself from telling you to fuck off. Your lack of self respect is mirrored by all. You’re feeling strapped for me time let alone them time. Time. Never enough. If only you could buy some back. Quick bacon and egg roll, double bacon with BBQ sauce. The boss is a prick. The woman on reception at the gym too gives you toxic looks. You know your breath smells, let alone your armpits. You haven’t breathed deep for years. It’s Monday morning.

Unto Death Do We Boil

Generally speaking there’s a stuckness. The feelings are so numb that you’re not sure anymore if you’re over caffeinated or in profound grief. Your nervous system is shot. Your eye’s are swollen from life but don’t weep with tears anymore. The worries are a dominant force that feel like spider legs constantly scurrying across your mind. Everything is like Monday morning, even Saturday’s hangover from celebrating Friday’s end of working week milestone reached. At best happiness, contentless is fleeting and almost never experienced organically. Like boiling frogs we call it resilience, forging ahead for the days that having paid off the mortgage and semi retired, we can finally chill. But we’re boiled frogs with spiders all over us that won’t go away. Instead we die!

Descension

To temper the waters, and to become free of the arachnids, I practice contentedness. It’s paradoxical, a catch 22!. I premise the foundations of my practice with felt wisdom that has proven me so far that where my mind goes the energy flows. Or where I place my consciousness, and unfortunately anything that sits within my less conscious, dictates my reality. So the more I exist within a given paradigm, the more something is present for my experience of being, The more I think about it the more it becomes me. For better and for worse. When I think about how tired I feel the more tiredness becomes the theme that defines my existence. So what’s paradoxical is the nature of the mind to manifest a negative reality (like the Beginning of The End above), the more we focus on the negatives, even if it’s our anxieties that are attempting to figure out how to be free from them. It’s that slippery slope - the further we slide, the faster we descend. By practicing contentedness and practice the changing of our negative thoughts, the more we can turn slide into an onwards and upwards trajectory.

G Reated

When I wake up, I don’t bolt for the espresso hit, I practice gratitude for the unique day that I’ve been born into. The gratitude practice continues throughout, and I’ve still got so far to go. When I get gifted a beautiful wave, and experience the great joys of sliding across the surface of it’s divine majesty, I pay my gratitudes. Focusing on my footsteps across the rocky shelf that takes me to my car, I pay my gratitude and respect for the ancestral custodians and their deep connection to this place. For the friends that I share all of this. For my healthy body. For this epic environment - pristine water, the tall eucalypts, the dolphins, the breaching whales, the shorebirds, the dogs running around the carpark. My van. My healthy lunch. My kids who are still bizarrely presenting as adhering to the system of remote schooling online from home. I’m grateful to not necessarily know their truth that they too just skipped three classes and surfed for 4 hours straight. To the woman that beeped me for going too slow on the way home. I have gratitude to her for reminding me of the work I’ve still got to do. I’m grateful for the awareness I’ve developed to catch myself reacting before making it stick. The list goes on. Gratitude for gratitude. It’s endless!

When The Going Gets Tough

But it’s easy to be grateful for the good stuff. It’s the hard stuff that’s tricky. So I incorporate a sneaky hack on of that, and refocus my awareness. That starts in the morning, that I’m so grateful to be alive for, on the yoga mat, and then the cushion. With small achievable goals of hitting them both on the daily, but keeping it fluid depending on how I feel. I aim for no more than 5 to 10 minutes of each at the least. It’s achievable and usually I’m energised for more once I start.

Breath Mother Fucker

I practice being present with just my breath, and my body. And then I practice emanating the feels that I want to embrace and embody. The love, the joy, the peace. Compassion. In essence, I tap into those feelings, and I practice sitting with them as long as I can. I layer that cake with an icing of intention that is to become more of these feelings, that essence. And the cherry on top as my dedication of everything I can become to the serving of others. That’s where the juice is at. Simply, giving to you makes me the happiest version of myself!. Every present minded breath reminds me of this. I practice as much as I can.

Aligning Stars

So when I feel myself sliding, like we all do at times, and when I think of Monday mornings as dark as they can be, I come back to the practice. Time and time again. And I know that I can’t climb that slippery dip that quickly necessarily. Every one of those impactful thoughts has a reality to manifest still right. The rebalancing in favour of peace can take time. But it’s the only way! It doesn’t have to be Yogic, or Buddhist, or new agey or wankey, it might just be you knowing that you deserve to be happy and sitting with the inner knowing of how good that feels. Maybe it’s the joy of a conversation with a beautiful friend that warms you inside that you give yourself the opportunity to indulge in, and contemplate how much more you’d like to experience that. Practice treating yourself to what feels good, and knowing that you deserve that! The manifestation of your reality will facilitate more of it!

Together Unite

And know too that you’ve got shit that needs to be worked through. We all do. And there’s nothing wrong with sharing that with someone you trust. We’re all unique but we’re also so interconnected. We’re here for each other!. To love, and support in all of this together. To ascend into a time and place where Sunday’s and Mondays and every day feels like the best day of your life. Isn’t that what growing older and wiser is all about.

Cracking Serenity

Cracking Serenity Photo Dean Dampney

A whip bird calls to the rising sun, the air is still, getting warmer every morning.

I’m feeling the serenity, outside, and within (myself).

A client that I from this point forth will refer to alongside all my other ‘clients’ as a friend and a collaborator, is still here in his essence.

The red rose he presented to me upon meeting me at my front door now starting to wilt a little.

The richness and succulence of it’s petals won’t last much longer.

As it goes.

This all changes.

I’ve been feeling a few more variations in my physical, emotional, and spiritual being lately.

I want to know why!

And know that for me, my path will continue to present itself exactly as it needs to for my personal evolution.

Letting go!.

As long as I stay as present as possible.

Allowing my focused attention again within and beyond, to allow my felt intuition to guide me.

All stories of my past, and my heady wanting to script my future finds me stumbling over my own feet, frustrated that I’m not moving forward with the breeze from the north west that’s now touching the leaves of the gumtrees dancing outside.

With the softness of a rose, and steady resolve as I lead one foot firmly in front of the other, i beckon forth the blessings upon this unique path.

My mantras, these practices, are loaded with intentions that we’re aligned in our hearts, and can all find the stillness for our collaborative journeys ascension.

Feeling into the serenity, the peace, we become it.

The whip bird cracks her song again into my awareness that now is that time.

I See You, I Hear You, I Value You, I Love You.

I dug this up recently from a couple of years ago. If nothing else, these images represent ‘the Practice’ I refer to and hopefully the results speak for themselves.

Personal Covid Update: I’m a Thriving Flag Waving Fence Sitter

I’ve waved my flag up high representing this body mind and spirit a conflict free zone. Even in ‘lockdown’ though I’m sensing threats from across the virtual borders .

To my far right and from the predawn rising sun in the east I’ve been smoke bombed, judged, yet mostly ignored. These threats have been marginal. From the west where the waft of incense rides upon the cool breeze, I’ve had a torrent of ‘free media’ articles and footage leaving me feeling congested and guilt ridden, mostly for the fact that they remain unexamined. The iCloud storage quota is threatening to burst its seams. To the warm hearted neighbours to my north, I’ve shared cuppa’s and advice that any mention let alone deep contemplation of the V words may cause serious harm. Their tears threaten my conscience as my own emotions tend to spike in and out, testing for firm ground. To my renegade step brothers and sisters to the deep south, I’ve felt admiration yet concern for their reckless abandon and carefree lead. Mad Max scenes play out in my imagination. The virtual fence upon which I sit feels comfortable if not slightly unstable.

Truth Seeking

Yet as the earth continues to spin on it’s axis in orbit around our solar system like it always has, I never imagined here in the middle of this natural paradise that my resolve for what’s what (call it ‘the truth’) could feel so damn dizzy. So truth be told quite often I ask myself the question what the fuck am I doing??

Fuck All

“Very little it appears”, is my retort to self, examining the situation long enough to feel personally convinced that my views are on the informed side of ignorance (as far as media exposure goes) - just! Consciously and otherwise, for now, I feel perfectly OK about that, despite all the energy I’m sensing through the 360 degree spectrum of my guiding compass.

Full to the Brim

What I do know is that even though the powers to be no longer grant us access to #naturalimmunity through social media, that my slightly dizzy, wave flagging, fence sitting, relatively unexamined way is mine, and it feels good to the core of my well being. My well is full to overflowing!.

Research Tools

I’ve always trusted my instincts. In fact I’ve worked really hard at fine tuning my instincts. And they continue to serve me and those connected to my choices. This is where my research and examinations really reside. And I say this in full confidence that your decision process is uniquely yours with all your unique causes and conditions that have led you to arrive at your conclusions and paths of actions. Buddhists call it karma. For better and worse.

Intentions

Every morning my practice is to honour my body, mind and spirit in ways that continue to bring me peace, love, joy and compassion (my measures of healthy well being). The practice is with no other higher purpose than to be able to share the essence of this well being with others (all beings!).

Conscious Cushion Time

Being a relatively determined soul I never imagined that these intentions would leave me so relatively inactive when it comes to taking a stand for such charged issues. Issues that dominate almost every channel of the media, not just for a day or a week but for now well over a year. Yet still, here I sit.

There’s no such thing as Decision Time

I’m continuously tuning into my bodies instincts, firstly freeing myself from the clutter of my monkey mind, lowering into the loving resonance of my heart, and checking into the yearning tendencies of my solar plexus and gut brain to move me towards my neighbours with their various standpoints, or otherwise. This is a time independent process. My process. I completely respect every individual to arrive at their decisions through their own process, and pray that the outcomes bring peace for all.

Ready Solutions

I found myself watching one of those video’s sent to me from may contacts across the borders to the west. I found myself stirred to the point of sobbing tears. The forces of opposition, anger and righteousness struck me unexpectedly. I also felt as deeply as I could into my personal recess of empathy for the loneliness. That one got me too. The emptiness felt eternal. Again I welled with tears. Both times and for all the other less pronounced reactions I’ve had, to what I’m perceiving with regards to these dominant societal issues, I’m tempted to reach for the medicine cabinet and find myself a ready solution. But my instincts tell me to hold still. The stillness takes longer, but it tends to quell those emotional surges.

Judgement Free Zone

And what I’ve come to realise for myself if no one else, is that my decisions are coming from the set of highest valued priorities I can personally work towards, and that may not be relatable to others. My decisions may even negatively influence your experience of these charged issues - I’m sorry!. I sincerely hope that any ill will, judgement or anger you may feel is not causing you harm. Whatever your decisions are, regardless of the issue at hand my sentiment remains the same - you have nothing but my love and respect for having arrived at your point of view through your own process.

Flutter Matters

From above the clouds of information overload, I contemplate how high I can rise. I remind myself that maintaining my material wealth and the financial means from which I support it, are far from my highest priorities. I have developed faith over time, that what I need to be comfortable enough in this realm always comes when needed. I have never been skint for food, shelter, connection and love. I ponder my so called freedoms and ask myself if right now I’m feeling imprisoned, isolated, or restricted in ways that are really meaningful to me. My answer is that I feel content, connected, peaceful, and loving. I send this to my family and friends that I haven’t seen for way longer than usual. Beyond this, any threats that have come to my senses, have come from within me, and the boundaries I’ve placed upon myself. I check in to see those spikes of emotion, and I’m reminded of how they’ve come and gone, no matter how ‘real’ they felt at the time. Everything changes. And last but not least I examine my sense of self importance, my desire to be affirmed and validated, and I remind myself that as this earth spins on it’s axis through the universe that in the big scheme of things I’m barely a vibrational flutter.

Declaration of Peace

What I believe is that the more we all exercise love and compassion for others, freeing ourselves from our anger, judgement and opposition, the more resolute our healing (on all levels) as a global community will be. As far as I’m concerned we have no higher purpose.

I hope so much that these field notes as scribed from the relatively inactive position of ‘fence sitter’ in the now, can influence your own valued priorities and spectrum of emotions towards a stable platform of peace. I pray that joy and wellness for all can be cultivated in our hearts, regardless of which corner of the compass and side of the virtual borders you place yourselves.

The Conflict Resolution Plan

CONFLICT SUX

For a couple of days now I’ve been working through something. Something in me didn’t feel right, it actually felt kinda shitty. I refer to these things as disturbances, and they arise when two parts of me are in battle. These two parts represent my higher self (I sometimes refer to that as Spirit) and my lower self (that I often refer to as my Ego or self). In short I refer to this as a conflict. And conflict sux.

If I’m not able to bring awareness to these conflicts on my own, I unconsciously manifest situations to arise that make sure I know I have conflict. Most often these manifestations are in the form of people, and usually these are people that I share a relationship in one form or another with.

MINE AND MINE ONLY

In relation to these people when I’m ready to stare my conflict in the face, I find that these disturbances come up in an even more pronounced way. Be it in disagreement, resentments, anger etc. I feel even more conflicted! But I also often don’t know exactly what that conflicted feeling necessarily is, or where it’s coming from. Because it’s a feeling, and I haven’t unfolded every feeling and every association with every feeling I’ve got, yet. But I know if a shitty feeling, a disturbance, a sense of conflict comes up, that it’s mine and mine only, and it’s up to me to work out where it’s coming from.

I BECOME A SCARED UNAWARE ANIMAL

So situationally when I find myself in the face of conflict, if I’m not practiced in the art of meeting this new disturbance when being highlighted for me by another person through their speech, and actions (that feel completely unaligned logically speaking with what I’m thinking let alone feeling), I go into auto responder mode - that’s fight, flight, freeze etc. That’s the scared unaware animal in me simply trying to stay ‘alive’ in the face of the fire.

SHIT THERE’S MORE WORK TO DO!

And after I’ve presented the arsenal of my weaponry, done the bolt, or wrapped myself in a teflon coasted bubble of cast iron, I hopefully realise at some point, that I’ve got some more work to do.

NATURE MIND

My workshop is nature. It allows me to tap in to the big picture easier. This morning I woke up, walked down a bush track to the sand dunes and saw the red pre sunrise glow on the horizon. I was stoked that my timing was aligned. A split second later that first burst of bright red light and an overwhelming sense of warmth and joy took hold of me.

I laughed out loud, and marvelled at how this was happening because I happened to be standing on the side of the earth as it spins on it’s axis, orbiting around the sun, perfectly in line with the birth of this unique day blazoned with those first penetravive beams of light. I felt honoured and likewise such a minuscule part of this ever morphing universal kaleidoscopic dreamscape.

BE GONE BURDENS

I was there to do my daily meditation and yoga practices. But consciously I was also there to hopefully align my inner conflict between Spirit and self. To reset and be absolved of the burdens I was carrying.

WE DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN PURE LOVE

I thought of the people that had brought to my attention ‘my shit’. And I knew in these pure realms on the dunes before the incredible ocean and rising sun, birds chirping, that Spirit has no higher agenda than love. And I consciously dropped out of my head, into my heart and gave that to them. As fellow beings, they deserve nothing less.

DESPERATELY TRYING TO HAVE OTHERS VALIDATE MY EXPERIENCE OF BEING

I allowed myself to become love and had no other intention than to share it completely. And from here I allowed myself to contemplate the origins of my thoughts that had contributed to my recent conflicts. I asked whether or not these thoughts, and consequent words and actions were serving any of us in relation to love. Was it another case of that Ego of MINE, trying to affirm that the way I experience the way I am IS VALID? In a word, YES.

THERE’S NEVER RIGHT OR WRONG

So I LET GO of desperately trying to affirm to myself and others that I am valid. And instantly I recognised that the people that I felt that I was in conflict with are likewise trying to express their right to feel valid. Which of course they are because we’re all so different, and there’s never right nor wrong, just energy and consequent feelings that are here to drive us to align Spirit and self.

STEPPING UP

And the beautiful thing about all of this, is that in alignment (Spirit with self), ie coming from our Highest Self, we no longer energetically provoke or manifest internal, nor external conflict. And this then becomes a mirror for all. Everyone’s happy when we step up towards the sun and embrace love for all.

Side Note: As I pressed PUBLISH on this post, a beautiful friend who I’ve recently been ‘in conflict with’ (and whom I’m referring to as the other in this post) called to say that she wanted to express how it was important to her for me to know that she has no resentments or ill feelings towards me as a result of the recent things that had become ‘our stuff’. She called to wave the peace flag. I told her out loud that I loved her, which I do and shared the same sentiment. Spirit (Love) 1, Self 0. Job Done!

EXPECTATIONS……SUCK!

Mick Mackie, keeping it simple, in the moment, with Vegemite on toast.

IMAGINE WE CAN MAKE BREAK FREE FROM THEIR EXPECTATIONS

They always said I had a good brain in my head, that of course I’d go on to University, and no doubt go on to have a successful career. Their expectations weren’t questioned until my Career Advisor, advised them (my parents, my relatives, the private school faculty of staff, my future lecturers, and all those expectant bosses of my future predetermined path) that I’d failed my interview within minutes of it’s inception.

You see the interview with my Career Advisor was to ensure that my expectations were aligned with all of their expectations. Like the country depended on it. Upon entering the cold white office with academic accreditations framed on the wall, I slumped into the chair and flatly stated that my only future oriented goal, as fixed as i apologetically declared it to be, was to live on the South Coast (of New South Wales) in a little hardwood timber shack (with a pot belly stove), grow veggies, go surf, and hopefully one day have a family to call my own. What wasn’t said out loud, was that instantly I was also declaring an energetic divide, between me and them!.

The fact is it took me two university degrees, and half a dozen years trancing as the black sheep that I was within the penned environments of big business and their expectations, before I realised that I was value sacrificing and semi-depressed. I also realised that I was way more value aligned, imaginative, and self determinant than ever before.

STEAMROLLING THE MOVIE SET AND THROWING AWAY THE SCRIPT

Metaphorically what I decided to do was to steamroll the Movie Production Studio Facade of big cities, bright lights, fancy suits, and straight white teeth, with an impassioned overdue declaration of war against everything that no longer felt right. I instantly recognised the weakness (the lack of foundation) in the facade of those expectations. As they topple I felt no sense of loss.

Those future projections that I unconsciously adopted as my own (cross to bare) were never aligned with my highest values. And even if they were, I learned quickly that my framing of the world of my creation, so determined by these highest values, was changing continuously. How could I possibly make the movie of my life thinking that I knew how it was going to go?

So I entered my own Surrender Experiment and made a conscious point to self that I would practice the art of moving through life with as little expectation as possible. I framed my hypothesis that expectations suck, on the premise that prefabricating one’s future (scripting the plot of my life’s movie) acts as a limitation to all the possibilities that can emerge otherwise. And this was based on the notion that my thoughts, my intentions, create my perception. My perception was the result of my own manifestation.

DESIRE SUCKS, ACCEPTANCE ROCKS

Expectations are the bastard child of desire, which in the view of the Buddhists, sits alongside ignorance, anger, frustration etc as one of the ‘Poison Minds’. Of all of them, desire feels like the hardest one to grasp. But when we frame desire and grasping as one, it starts to feel less enticing.

Our perfect partner, perfect job, perfect meal, perfect LIFE, don’t come into our existence because we believed we could expect them to. No matter how much heartfelt desire we grasp onto that script for all its worth. It usually feels like the higher the expectations the further we fall. my little metaphor I picture the pages or our script filmed flying into the sunset under the insurmountable force of natures gale force winds and shattered expectations.

Our expectations are shattered because we’re trying to align our current fixed views against a world that is in continual flux - everything changes! And the future is never the same as now. Our desires to have our expectations met is a projection that is as unlikely as inheriting an ability to predict the future.

The remedy to our shattered expectations is ACCEPTANCE. The lower our expectations the less to accept. To annihilate expectations altogether we let them go with the adoption of faith and fearlessness. Faith comes easily with positive test results from testing our hypothesis.

SEEDS GROW INTO TREES

I acknowledge, that culturally we remain so damn busy (and possibly getting busier). I acknowledge, that you like me, quite likely set your expectations that you’d have kids or create your own version of a family of your own. I acknowledge that you like me set your expectations that you’d be a good little worker, and have a real job. I acknowledge that you like me, set your expectations that you’d have a shelter that you can call your home. And I acknowledge like all of you that creating space, financial freedom, let alone balance within this paradigm is fricken hard. So in response I honour us all and plant some seeds of intention.

In busting down the facade of my desires, laden with future grasping, and the flimsy expectations that I’ve built to feel safe, I create the freedom for my future to unfold unabated. This takes the pressure off! Unabated by my future expectations upon myself and others I feel free. To work towards this is my primary intention. In a nutshell, or again lets call it a seed (that can grow), I’m intentionally throwing all the scripts to the wind, and practicing the art of staying as present minded as possible. For the record I’m going to dismiss my tendency to hold onto the past as well!

I’m also going to double down and throw out a bunch more seeds that allow me to honour my highest held values. Knowing all too well that these seeds don’t always come to become trees in the unknown future, but also holding the notion tight that by knowing what I value and consciously stating my beliefs out loud that upholding these values can bring myself and others to receive the gifts that these values represent.

So intentionally, work out what you value most. It’s easy, it’s what feels right! What impassions you. Know that your experience and belief in these values in the moment will always change, like everything, as we transcend moment to moment. Plant those seeds and with childlike wonder watch and accept what grows is yours to embrace. You’re consciously creating the causes and conditions for growth. Furthermore what I think you’ll find is that, the looser we allow our belief system to be influenced by what comes to feel right, the more freedom we find. The seeds of our highest consciousness, the values that transcend the mundane, become trees from which we can attach rope swings and play on like the kids of the universe that we are.

PRAY TO THE GODS THAT THE SUN SHINES, AND THE RAIN FALLS

I set intentions every day to love whole heartedly, to remain as present as possible, to give everything I’ve got, and to receive with open arms. These are the circumstances that I pray will come to grow my seeds. I make lists of the things that I’m passionate about, setting my intentions to bring on the gifts they give. I watch them change knowing that this is all fleeting. I contemplate the things that we can translate as wisdom with the space that I create. I feel deeper into the present and meditate on the essence this experience. These are my practices.

So burn down the movie set. Throw away the script. Get into how good this moment feels free from the burden of before and after. Contemplate what you value. Intentionally sow the seeds of identifying your values and give rise to the causes and conditions that fuel their growth. Pay gratitude for the abundance you’re immersed in.

And last but not least, know that the burden of our expectations, are our own manifestation from our thoughts. Accept that. By disengaging the strategies, the routines that we create in fear of not meeting these expectations, we consequently free ourselves from the burden of all those thoughts that don’t serve us. We don’t need to do less, work less, ditch the kids, or live in a tent (although it might help). But when we align our mind stream with our values, we are so much more capable of moving through the ‘to do list’ without the stress that come with all those expectations.

Thank the Career Advisor with your heartfelt gratitude, that today is your present and you plan for nothing more than to plant seeds to grow trees that one day you hope we can all sit under in the shade embracing the simple things that bring us peace.

Escape The Prison of your Head Fuck

Things feel heightened right now. That’s what I’m feeling and hearing from the people orbiting in my field right now. Especially from my Sydney buddies. And of course, not to take away from the situation in other places - Melbourne comes to mind immediately. Really feeling the suffering. And what I’m hearing mainly is that there’s this sense of oppression and powerlessness. Some too are lonely. Others are expressing deep sadness for the division amongst us. Some the anger and frustration of misalignment with people across the divide. And above all I’m feeling and hearing the exhaustion that people are experiencing from the inundation of information for whatever it’s worth, that they’re collating like super computers trying to make educated intelligent and informed decisions.

For most the decision is to vaccinate or not to vaccinate. Which vaccination would it be? How do we avoid the negative impositions of the government and authorities if we choose none? And how do we balance our physical and mental well being in so many states of the unknown versus the projected unknown outcomes of alternative trajectories? So many variables. So many sources of information. So much intense engagement - emotionally, cerebrally….exhaustingly. It’s all an absolute head fuck.

The question is how are we investing our energetic resources spiritually? Let me express that in another way. What can we do for ourselves and for others to generate peace? And what I mean by spiritually is the same as why I refer to our goals being oriented towards ‘self and others’ - that is that we are so much more than a single individual entity. It’s not just ‘me’. It’s everyone that I’m connected to through my relationships. In my case, my friends and family, the larger community. That’s the connections I share on a verbal communicative basis.

Oh yeah, then there’s the global community of my ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ on social media, that are connected to me like you guys through a platform of words and imagery. We interrelate. We are connected. And for ‘me’ I extend my sphere of consciousness beyond the words I speak and type, and beyond the pixel blocks of images and videos. I extend these inter-connective communications from my heart felt intentions through my energetic extensions that are unbound by skin and bones, unbound by the digital technological platforms and the telecommunications between them. Energetically I aim for my intentions to be boundless positivity and to extend to all beings.

When the tide rises all ships rise with it. I love this. Lets raise the tide.

Spiritually, as the interconnected being that I believe I am, as a representative of the universal whole, call it The Divine, God, or simply Pure Love, I frame my intentions as the foundation of my universe. The reason I align my intentions is because I believe that energetically they are communicated from within, though and beyond me. And every thought I have, along with it’s conscious or otherwise, stipulations, has profound ramifications. The Buddhists call it karma. So I align my intentioned thought stream with as much present minded awareness as possible to bring love and peace to all. That’s all! Ha. And yeah of course I fail all the time!!! Yet sometimes I don’t.

Every aspect of what I bring to my experience of being ‘me’, I believe is a manifestation of my consciousness. Wherever my thoughts go, the energy flows. And what I experience, is that I’m continually being tested to transform the potentially volatile repercussions of my mind stream, to flow with positivity. Energetically I watch my responses as much as I can and I ask myself, am I heightened with feelings of strong emotion, or am I feeling the weight of inner conflict deaden me inside? Have I stretched the rubber band too tight due to my preconceived bounded ways of thinking. Or has the rubber band snapped since the collective will annihilated my ability to live out my convictions?

I came back to ‘The Middle Way’. The rubber band of my mind is taught yet not stretched. It’s supple and soft yet not decaying or lifeless. Energetically I am not charged, nor am I devoid of an essence we can call vitality. I am intentionally gathering all my senses, and vibrating with a steady resonant hum, defined for me with a sense of equanimity - a sense of peace! Contemplations generate direction for me. Meditation brings me a greater sense of being present. The awareness of my intentions follow.

My contemplations for now are centred on your happiness. How do we practically approach our day to day? Another way to describe the approach to changing our experiences from negative to positive, is to reset the bar of our expectations. Our fears lead to creating projections and closed scenarios that feel safe for us, but when they don’t succeed in satisfying our desires, these expectations cause suffering. With this in mind, we practice the art of surrender, letting go!. When we accept everything as a gift (shiny and sweet, or bitter tasting and challenging), we can’t go wrong. Pure acceptance of our present circumstances means that we’re always able to feel gratitude for the here and now. Practice it!

Lower expectations and and raise the tide in the here and now with total acceptance. Resonantly I claim from my personal deep belief system, that it is my energetic transmission, The Queen of Communication (The Mother, The Everything), that is the most powerful conductor of good will and positive change. In being mindful and practiced in the art of it’s meaningful alignment and offerings, I send it! Like no tomorrow. And I likewise reinforce this message with the words of The King (intellect, perception, worldly) in understanding that we communicate with each other on so many more levels than just words. But words add context, and can usually help.

Following from my last post, I tap into authenticity, knowing that to portray myself in any other way than truth, is misleading, and invokes negativity in itself. And I stand in my beliefs without fear of the opinions, or potential criticisms of others. Above all though, my beliefs come from wanting the best for all beings, through generation of radical empathy, and heartfelt compassion. So authentically I communicate this with a presence of peace.

I use peace within interchangeably with harmony throughout. Its harmony in our relationships with one and all, that counter balances the fears from all those unknowns. Harmony is held. It is safe. It is loving. It comes from consciously choosing how we frame our thoughts, gear our intentions, and manifest our realities.

Love and peace is in us all when we allow ourselves to become unobstructed by the illusion that we need to fight for our personal right to be heard. The ego, the self affirmation, derails us from love and peace. By simply aligning ourselves with an intention that 'may we all be happy’, using daily practices of gratitude and devotion to the inundation of blessings we’re immersed in, our charge for change in our way, can become a universal unfolding of the only way - to love for all from the heart.

So from the prison of the head fuck, next time you’re present enough to watch your thoughts unfold, accept the scenarios of the present and choose the reality you want to create. Simply rest easy in that perception energetically. The right words, from this authentic stand will come. And if we’re practiced and mindful enough, we’ll hopefully all collectively choose to dismiss the negative habituations of our past, and choose love and peace, harmony for all. This is my hypothesis, give it your best shot. If my results are anything to go by, the heart, unlike the head, is boundless, and can be shared limitlessly with all. The ships are rising!

Conversations Amongst Men - Vulnerable as Fuck

"Yeah mate been good mostly, but also feeling pretty sensitive recently”. Carpark Conversations by Dean Dampney

Alright, this feels like my very first blog post. Even though it’s so not. The reason being that I’m full of stuff ready to fall out of me, and in so many ways the voice that’s speaking through these words, my voice, is feeling like it’s time to yell it out loud. I have no idea what’s coming into the next moment here, but I can tell you it’s going to be impassioned, and with no higher desire than to bring some ideas together in a way that I sincerely hope will start building a forum for men and the beautiful women in our lives. I intention above all that we can move towards and into a space of flourishing together.

Conversations Amongst Men for me traditionally have been laced with small hints of purposeful ‘real’ content, that I’ve consciously tagged as bringing wisdom and connection. These hints have given me hope, that the stuff that I’ve yearned more for is alive (just) and I’ve acknowledged that more can come. But I also acknowledged that it didn’t seem to be a shared dream, or at least a practice.

As my life has unfolded I’ve brought more and more connection into it on these terms with other men. Allowing the hints of good stuff to be infused with more than a hint - a solid dash if not dousing. Because I want to grow! And bring that to other men. And I recognise that as the specific beasts that we are, in our masculine, that we’re the one’s best served to guide each other in this realm.

I’m super mindful, of the joy that light banter and small talk can bring. So not averse to that. I love it in fact. And rejoice in finding that common ground. Be it over a game of cards, a pre jam session yarn, or god help us a game of footy on the tele (insert old wound trigger moan here). BUT where the juice is for me, is to connect with others via the mutually shared expression of first and foremost, authenticity. From here I value in the same voice, honesty, and particularly for us blokes, radical vulnerability. Throw in some deep listening, felt empathy, compassion, and rejoice for each other. And by no means do I exclude women from this equation. I just want to punctate that as men to men, I feel that this is sadly a way of chatting, of being, that’s often sadly lacking.

So first things first. Authenticity. “How the fuck are ya?” my mate says. I reply “I’m feeling emotionally strung out, physically exhausted, and quite angry between tears…”. “Geez mate, hectic….how ‘bout those Rabbitos hey!”. “Nah man, those Rabbitoes don’t mean shit to me. I’m crying out to be heard by another man coz I’ve got some heavy shit going on…”. That’s the practice. Or alternatively, in full authenticity I reply “man I’m fucking stoked, there’s more positive vibes coming to me and through me, that leaves me feeling beyond words but I’d love to try share…”. Authentic, and vulnerable as fuck. That’s what I want to hear from my mates, and likewise that’s how I want to give it!.

Why feels like a fair question. And the reason is that if we can ‘man up’ and voice our truth with authentic vulnerability, strength and conviction in our right to say it how it is, others will hear, and learn to excercise such a simple, yet largely forgotten tenant. For the benefit of all of us! Men and women.

Authentic considered communication is masculine as hell, as long as it comes from truth. Anything less, we can smell a mile away, particularly if those finely tuned senses come in the female form. The reason being that women have practiced and defined the art of authentic communication long before we grabbed a long neck and hit the couch in reply. Hear women and learn.

If it aint practical, theoretical, rational or just plain muscular enough, ask yourself where that’s coming from. “Did I learn tough talk from my old man?”. With penetrative awareness of self and other, we need to make the practice authentic communication for the sake of developing wisdom. There’s too many men sitting alone with no one to hear their cry’s. There’s too many men surrounded by mates, too scared to say how it is, to ask the questions, in fear of breaking protocols. It’s time that men started supporting men. Above all, that needs to happen so women and men can grow better at supporting each other too!

With my masculine Therapist hat on (I’m sure you can picture it - a bit frayed at the edges with a picture of a Marlin embroidered on the front), I’m conscious of so many of my male clients, feeling unsure about what’s ‘safe’ to say and what’s not. We’re so communicatively suppressed that we often go into 'doing mode’, trying to fix, or at least distract ourselves and hopefully our significant others. Instead we just need to lay it out as it is. Compassionately and honestly. Without fear of having said the wrong thing. That’s what’s fearless, and that’s once again, where the juice is!

So last but not least, on this significantly long ‘first blog post’, men next time your mate asked how you’re going, give him your god honest truth warts and all. And by exhibiting such fearlessness you’ll invite his. You’ll be amazed how that intention alone will open doors, and expand our consciousness well beyond the shallow waters of our day to day ‘auto reply’. Give it a shot.

As for me, ‘how you doing Dean?’ I hear you ask. Thanks for asking! I’m buzzed. Or more specifically I’m feeling a resonantly steady hum of energy that’s on the rise and defined by love and joy, and striving for wisdom and all encompassing compassion. I’m also defined in the now by subtle ebbs and flows, sometimes feeling the depth of suffering that world ‘crisis’ have part fuelled, feeling the fear in the streets, and in my conversations with my families and friends, let alone clients. These things are in my field. And therefore they’re also mine. With which I contemplate deeply, meditate and pray that wisdom comes for the sake and for all sentient beings.

If you’ve got this far, wow, I’m surprised. Go lockdown! I say that with nothing but positivity and rejoice that good comes from all. If this has resonated on a level that you’re feeling please send it on.

Kobes and Leif starting young!

Where Values become Dreams

There’s a lot of energy around values right now. For me anyway. How much do you value your job, your shelter (as your home), your life…and even your death? I know I value love and connection along with wisdom and contentedness up there as some of my most prized values. And that love doesn’t flow any thicker than when it comes to ‘my boys’.

So when I was presented with the prospect of hitting fifty, without a second thought I started manoeuvring things in a shameless act of self serving my highest intentions - my values. The idea being that people would either pity or celebrate this milestone enough for them to step aside The Crystal Voyager and relinquish their ties to maintaining the status quo of concepts like ‘work’ and ‘childhood education’. The boys and I, and Indi the pup, thought these things could be easily accomplished in the desert on the edge of the Southern Ocean half way across the Great Australian Bight.

After 3 days on the road, Indi exploded out of her big brothers swag on the first morning of waking up in the desert….and fled for her life into the darkness. Quite possibly never to be seen again. Shit. Not good. Hours later and still waiting for the full light of day, her eye’s danced like headlights of a rally car out of control, before she pit stopped for less than seconds to let me know she was the happiest desert dog alive. For three weeks she didn’t stop.

Arlo was next, and like Indi, he was straight into desert mode. We let his brothers sleep off their road trip junk food hangovers while we jumped on the pushies and started smashing down dusty tracks. This exploration was endless for us both, and for me one of the most beautiful times I’ve had as a dad.

The waves were sick. And manageable for the boys, from 1’ peelers running the length of an olympic swimming pool for Arlo, to a couple of slabs for Marlz to refine his pig dog approach. All three boys thrived in the water, and for me being out there with them and calling them into some of the best waves of their life is as good as it gets.

It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns though. Before the rainbow and the pots of gold was one of the best storm events I’ve experienced since Portugal was declared a National Disaster Zone in 1998. With no land to buffer the deep low pressure systems, the onslaught of piss pouring rain and gale force winds cycled through left right combo’s for 36 hours. We were knocked on our asses with a collapsed gazebo pinning us down, but we remained vigilant and held the glimmer of hope that the storm shall pass. Back to rainbows, sunshine, overhead barrels, fire pits, and more laughs…like it never happened! The second storm that hit shortly after autumn officially turned to winter was a testimony to our recently rehearsed survival skills. We came through it with flying colours.

Back to the old value system, we all thrived in the limitless horizons of space and time there. The bike rides and walks without destination spoke volumes to the lives we live otherwise constantly bound by deadlines or productivity schedules. The love and open heartedness I felt for my boys, our friends, in fact all the amazing people who’s paths we crossed, was as unconditional as the environment that embraced us. The outdoor education system more than trumped any institutional brick building agenda the boys are subjected to otherwise.

And no one got hurt! No wheels flew off. No angry locals, no snake bites, no food poisoning. Just red dusty feral kids and their dad, alongside a bunch of other legends living life to the fullest. Bound by joy and vitality, and awash with the oceans pure goodness. All stuff that’s as valuable as it gets.