I See You, I Hear You, I Value You, I Love You.

I dug this up recently from a couple of years ago. If nothing else, these images represent ‘the Practice’ I refer to and hopefully the results speak for themselves.

Personal Covid Update: I’m a Thriving Flag Waving Fence Sitter

I’ve waved my flag up high representing this body mind and spirit a conflict free zone. Even in ‘lockdown’ though I’m sensing threats from across the virtual borders .

To my far right and from the predawn rising sun in the east I’ve been smoke bombed, judged, yet mostly ignored. These threats have been marginal. From the west where the waft of incense rides upon the cool breeze, I’ve had a torrent of ‘free media’ articles and footage leaving me feeling congested and guilt ridden, mostly for the fact that they remain unexamined. The iCloud storage quota is threatening to burst its seams. To the warm hearted neighbours to my north, I’ve shared cuppa’s and advice that any mention let alone deep contemplation of the V words may cause serious harm. Their tears threaten my conscience as my own emotions tend to spike in and out, testing for firm ground. To my renegade step brothers and sisters to the deep south, I’ve felt admiration yet concern for their reckless abandon and carefree lead. Mad Max scenes play out in my imagination. The virtual fence upon which I sit feels comfortable if not slightly unstable.

Truth Seeking

Yet as the earth continues to spin on it’s axis in orbit around our solar system like it always has, I never imagined here in the middle of this natural paradise that my resolve for what’s what (call it ‘the truth’) could feel so damn dizzy. So truth be told quite often I ask myself the question what the fuck am I doing??

Fuck All

“Very little it appears”, is my retort to self, examining the situation long enough to feel personally convinced that my views are on the informed side of ignorance (as far as media exposure goes) - just! Consciously and otherwise, for now, I feel perfectly OK about that, despite all the energy I’m sensing through the 360 degree spectrum of my guiding compass.

Full to the Brim

What I do know is that even though the powers to be no longer grant us access to #naturalimmunity through social media, that my slightly dizzy, wave flagging, fence sitting, relatively unexamined way is mine, and it feels good to the core of my well being. My well is full to overflowing!.

Research Tools

I’ve always trusted my instincts. In fact I’ve worked really hard at fine tuning my instincts. And they continue to serve me and those connected to my choices. This is where my research and examinations really reside. And I say this in full confidence that your decision process is uniquely yours with all your unique causes and conditions that have led you to arrive at your conclusions and paths of actions. Buddhists call it karma. For better and worse.

Intentions

Every morning my practice is to honour my body, mind and spirit in ways that continue to bring me peace, love, joy and compassion (my measures of healthy well being). The practice is with no other higher purpose than to be able to share the essence of this well being with others (all beings!).

Conscious Cushion Time

Being a relatively determined soul I never imagined that these intentions would leave me so relatively inactive when it comes to taking a stand for such charged issues. Issues that dominate almost every channel of the media, not just for a day or a week but for now well over a year. Yet still, here I sit.

There’s no such thing as Decision Time

I’m continuously tuning into my bodies instincts, firstly freeing myself from the clutter of my monkey mind, lowering into the loving resonance of my heart, and checking into the yearning tendencies of my solar plexus and gut brain to move me towards my neighbours with their various standpoints, or otherwise. This is a time independent process. My process. I completely respect every individual to arrive at their decisions through their own process, and pray that the outcomes bring peace for all.

Ready Solutions

I found myself watching one of those video’s sent to me from may contacts across the borders to the west. I found myself stirred to the point of sobbing tears. The forces of opposition, anger and righteousness struck me unexpectedly. I also felt as deeply as I could into my personal recess of empathy for the loneliness. That one got me too. The emptiness felt eternal. Again I welled with tears. Both times and for all the other less pronounced reactions I’ve had, to what I’m perceiving with regards to these dominant societal issues, I’m tempted to reach for the medicine cabinet and find myself a ready solution. But my instincts tell me to hold still. The stillness takes longer, but it tends to quell those emotional surges.

Judgement Free Zone

And what I’ve come to realise for myself if no one else, is that my decisions are coming from the set of highest valued priorities I can personally work towards, and that may not be relatable to others. My decisions may even negatively influence your experience of these charged issues - I’m sorry!. I sincerely hope that any ill will, judgement or anger you may feel is not causing you harm. Whatever your decisions are, regardless of the issue at hand my sentiment remains the same - you have nothing but my love and respect for having arrived at your point of view through your own process.

Flutter Matters

From above the clouds of information overload, I contemplate how high I can rise. I remind myself that maintaining my material wealth and the financial means from which I support it, are far from my highest priorities. I have developed faith over time, that what I need to be comfortable enough in this realm always comes when needed. I have never been skint for food, shelter, connection and love. I ponder my so called freedoms and ask myself if right now I’m feeling imprisoned, isolated, or restricted in ways that are really meaningful to me. My answer is that I feel content, connected, peaceful, and loving. I send this to my family and friends that I haven’t seen for way longer than usual. Beyond this, any threats that have come to my senses, have come from within me, and the boundaries I’ve placed upon myself. I check in to see those spikes of emotion, and I’m reminded of how they’ve come and gone, no matter how ‘real’ they felt at the time. Everything changes. And last but not least I examine my sense of self importance, my desire to be affirmed and validated, and I remind myself that as this earth spins on it’s axis through the universe that in the big scheme of things I’m barely a vibrational flutter.

Declaration of Peace

What I believe is that the more we all exercise love and compassion for others, freeing ourselves from our anger, judgement and opposition, the more resolute our healing (on all levels) as a global community will be. As far as I’m concerned we have no higher purpose.

I hope so much that these field notes as scribed from the relatively inactive position of ‘fence sitter’ in the now, can influence your own valued priorities and spectrum of emotions towards a stable platform of peace. I pray that joy and wellness for all can be cultivated in our hearts, regardless of which corner of the compass and side of the virtual borders you place yourselves.