The Conflict Resolution Plan

CONFLICT SUX

For a couple of days now I’ve been working through something. Something in me didn’t feel right, it actually felt kinda shitty. I refer to these things as disturbances, and they arise when two parts of me are in battle. These two parts represent my higher self (I sometimes refer to that as Spirit) and my lower self (that I often refer to as my Ego or self). In short I refer to this as a conflict. And conflict sux.

If I’m not able to bring awareness to these conflicts on my own, I unconsciously manifest situations to arise that make sure I know I have conflict. Most often these manifestations are in the form of people, and usually these are people that I share a relationship in one form or another with.

MINE AND MINE ONLY

In relation to these people when I’m ready to stare my conflict in the face, I find that these disturbances come up in an even more pronounced way. Be it in disagreement, resentments, anger etc. I feel even more conflicted! But I also often don’t know exactly what that conflicted feeling necessarily is, or where it’s coming from. Because it’s a feeling, and I haven’t unfolded every feeling and every association with every feeling I’ve got, yet. But I know if a shitty feeling, a disturbance, a sense of conflict comes up, that it’s mine and mine only, and it’s up to me to work out where it’s coming from.

I BECOME A SCARED UNAWARE ANIMAL

So situationally when I find myself in the face of conflict, if I’m not practiced in the art of meeting this new disturbance when being highlighted for me by another person through their speech, and actions (that feel completely unaligned logically speaking with what I’m thinking let alone feeling), I go into auto responder mode - that’s fight, flight, freeze etc. That’s the scared unaware animal in me simply trying to stay ‘alive’ in the face of the fire.

SHIT THERE’S MORE WORK TO DO!

And after I’ve presented the arsenal of my weaponry, done the bolt, or wrapped myself in a teflon coasted bubble of cast iron, I hopefully realise at some point, that I’ve got some more work to do.

NATURE MIND

My workshop is nature. It allows me to tap in to the big picture easier. This morning I woke up, walked down a bush track to the sand dunes and saw the red pre sunrise glow on the horizon. I was stoked that my timing was aligned. A split second later that first burst of bright red light and an overwhelming sense of warmth and joy took hold of me.

I laughed out loud, and marvelled at how this was happening because I happened to be standing on the side of the earth as it spins on it’s axis, orbiting around the sun, perfectly in line with the birth of this unique day blazoned with those first penetravive beams of light. I felt honoured and likewise such a minuscule part of this ever morphing universal kaleidoscopic dreamscape.

BE GONE BURDENS

I was there to do my daily meditation and yoga practices. But consciously I was also there to hopefully align my inner conflict between Spirit and self. To reset and be absolved of the burdens I was carrying.

WE DESERVE NOTHING LESS THAN PURE LOVE

I thought of the people that had brought to my attention ‘my shit’. And I knew in these pure realms on the dunes before the incredible ocean and rising sun, birds chirping, that Spirit has no higher agenda than love. And I consciously dropped out of my head, into my heart and gave that to them. As fellow beings, they deserve nothing less.

DESPERATELY TRYING TO HAVE OTHERS VALIDATE MY EXPERIENCE OF BEING

I allowed myself to become love and had no other intention than to share it completely. And from here I allowed myself to contemplate the origins of my thoughts that had contributed to my recent conflicts. I asked whether or not these thoughts, and consequent words and actions were serving any of us in relation to love. Was it another case of that Ego of MINE, trying to affirm that the way I experience the way I am IS VALID? In a word, YES.

THERE’S NEVER RIGHT OR WRONG

So I LET GO of desperately trying to affirm to myself and others that I am valid. And instantly I recognised that the people that I felt that I was in conflict with are likewise trying to express their right to feel valid. Which of course they are because we’re all so different, and there’s never right nor wrong, just energy and consequent feelings that are here to drive us to align Spirit and self.

STEPPING UP

And the beautiful thing about all of this, is that in alignment (Spirit with self), ie coming from our Highest Self, we no longer energetically provoke or manifest internal, nor external conflict. And this then becomes a mirror for all. Everyone’s happy when we step up towards the sun and embrace love for all.

Side Note: As I pressed PUBLISH on this post, a beautiful friend who I’ve recently been ‘in conflict with’ (and whom I’m referring to as the other in this post) called to say that she wanted to express how it was important to her for me to know that she has no resentments or ill feelings towards me as a result of the recent things that had become ‘our stuff’. She called to wave the peace flag. I told her out loud that I loved her, which I do and shared the same sentiment. Spirit (Love) 1, Self 0. Job Done!