EXPECTATIONS……SUCK!

Mick Mackie, keeping it simple, in the moment, with Vegemite on toast.

IMAGINE WE CAN MAKE BREAK FREE FROM THEIR EXPECTATIONS

They always said I had a good brain in my head, that of course I’d go on to University, and no doubt go on to have a successful career. Their expectations weren’t questioned until my Career Advisor, advised them (my parents, my relatives, the private school faculty of staff, my future lecturers, and all those expectant bosses of my future predetermined path) that I’d failed my interview within minutes of it’s inception.

You see the interview with my Career Advisor was to ensure that my expectations were aligned with all of their expectations. Like the country depended on it. Upon entering the cold white office with academic accreditations framed on the wall, I slumped into the chair and flatly stated that my only future oriented goal, as fixed as i apologetically declared it to be, was to live on the South Coast (of New South Wales) in a little hardwood timber shack (with a pot belly stove), grow veggies, go surf, and hopefully one day have a family to call my own. What wasn’t said out loud, was that instantly I was also declaring an energetic divide, between me and them!.

The fact is it took me two university degrees, and half a dozen years trancing as the black sheep that I was within the penned environments of big business and their expectations, before I realised that I was value sacrificing and semi-depressed. I also realised that I was way more value aligned, imaginative, and self determinant than ever before.

STEAMROLLING THE MOVIE SET AND THROWING AWAY THE SCRIPT

Metaphorically what I decided to do was to steamroll the Movie Production Studio Facade of big cities, bright lights, fancy suits, and straight white teeth, with an impassioned overdue declaration of war against everything that no longer felt right. I instantly recognised the weakness (the lack of foundation) in the facade of those expectations. As they topple I felt no sense of loss.

Those future projections that I unconsciously adopted as my own (cross to bare) were never aligned with my highest values. And even if they were, I learned quickly that my framing of the world of my creation, so determined by these highest values, was changing continuously. How could I possibly make the movie of my life thinking that I knew how it was going to go?

So I entered my own Surrender Experiment and made a conscious point to self that I would practice the art of moving through life with as little expectation as possible. I framed my hypothesis that expectations suck, on the premise that prefabricating one’s future (scripting the plot of my life’s movie) acts as a limitation to all the possibilities that can emerge otherwise. And this was based on the notion that my thoughts, my intentions, create my perception. My perception was the result of my own manifestation.

DESIRE SUCKS, ACCEPTANCE ROCKS

Expectations are the bastard child of desire, which in the view of the Buddhists, sits alongside ignorance, anger, frustration etc as one of the ‘Poison Minds’. Of all of them, desire feels like the hardest one to grasp. But when we frame desire and grasping as one, it starts to feel less enticing.

Our perfect partner, perfect job, perfect meal, perfect LIFE, don’t come into our existence because we believed we could expect them to. No matter how much heartfelt desire we grasp onto that script for all its worth. It usually feels like the higher the expectations the further we fall. my little metaphor I picture the pages or our script filmed flying into the sunset under the insurmountable force of natures gale force winds and shattered expectations.

Our expectations are shattered because we’re trying to align our current fixed views against a world that is in continual flux - everything changes! And the future is never the same as now. Our desires to have our expectations met is a projection that is as unlikely as inheriting an ability to predict the future.

The remedy to our shattered expectations is ACCEPTANCE. The lower our expectations the less to accept. To annihilate expectations altogether we let them go with the adoption of faith and fearlessness. Faith comes easily with positive test results from testing our hypothesis.

SEEDS GROW INTO TREES

I acknowledge, that culturally we remain so damn busy (and possibly getting busier). I acknowledge, that you like me, quite likely set your expectations that you’d have kids or create your own version of a family of your own. I acknowledge that you like me set your expectations that you’d be a good little worker, and have a real job. I acknowledge that you like me, set your expectations that you’d have a shelter that you can call your home. And I acknowledge like all of you that creating space, financial freedom, let alone balance within this paradigm is fricken hard. So in response I honour us all and plant some seeds of intention.

In busting down the facade of my desires, laden with future grasping, and the flimsy expectations that I’ve built to feel safe, I create the freedom for my future to unfold unabated. This takes the pressure off! Unabated by my future expectations upon myself and others I feel free. To work towards this is my primary intention. In a nutshell, or again lets call it a seed (that can grow), I’m intentionally throwing all the scripts to the wind, and practicing the art of staying as present minded as possible. For the record I’m going to dismiss my tendency to hold onto the past as well!

I’m also going to double down and throw out a bunch more seeds that allow me to honour my highest held values. Knowing all too well that these seeds don’t always come to become trees in the unknown future, but also holding the notion tight that by knowing what I value and consciously stating my beliefs out loud that upholding these values can bring myself and others to receive the gifts that these values represent.

So intentionally, work out what you value most. It’s easy, it’s what feels right! What impassions you. Know that your experience and belief in these values in the moment will always change, like everything, as we transcend moment to moment. Plant those seeds and with childlike wonder watch and accept what grows is yours to embrace. You’re consciously creating the causes and conditions for growth. Furthermore what I think you’ll find is that, the looser we allow our belief system to be influenced by what comes to feel right, the more freedom we find. The seeds of our highest consciousness, the values that transcend the mundane, become trees from which we can attach rope swings and play on like the kids of the universe that we are.

PRAY TO THE GODS THAT THE SUN SHINES, AND THE RAIN FALLS

I set intentions every day to love whole heartedly, to remain as present as possible, to give everything I’ve got, and to receive with open arms. These are the circumstances that I pray will come to grow my seeds. I make lists of the things that I’m passionate about, setting my intentions to bring on the gifts they give. I watch them change knowing that this is all fleeting. I contemplate the things that we can translate as wisdom with the space that I create. I feel deeper into the present and meditate on the essence this experience. These are my practices.

So burn down the movie set. Throw away the script. Get into how good this moment feels free from the burden of before and after. Contemplate what you value. Intentionally sow the seeds of identifying your values and give rise to the causes and conditions that fuel their growth. Pay gratitude for the abundance you’re immersed in.

And last but not least, know that the burden of our expectations, are our own manifestation from our thoughts. Accept that. By disengaging the strategies, the routines that we create in fear of not meeting these expectations, we consequently free ourselves from the burden of all those thoughts that don’t serve us. We don’t need to do less, work less, ditch the kids, or live in a tent (although it might help). But when we align our mind stream with our values, we are so much more capable of moving through the ‘to do list’ without the stress that come with all those expectations.

Thank the Career Advisor with your heartfelt gratitude, that today is your present and you plan for nothing more than to plant seeds to grow trees that one day you hope we can all sit under in the shade embracing the simple things that bring us peace.