Escape The Prison of your Head Fuck

Things feel heightened right now. That’s what I’m feeling and hearing from the people orbiting in my field right now. Especially from my Sydney buddies. And of course, not to take away from the situation in other places - Melbourne comes to mind immediately. Really feeling the suffering. And what I’m hearing mainly is that there’s this sense of oppression and powerlessness. Some too are lonely. Others are expressing deep sadness for the division amongst us. Some the anger and frustration of misalignment with people across the divide. And above all I’m feeling and hearing the exhaustion that people are experiencing from the inundation of information for whatever it’s worth, that they’re collating like super computers trying to make educated intelligent and informed decisions.

For most the decision is to vaccinate or not to vaccinate. Which vaccination would it be? How do we avoid the negative impositions of the government and authorities if we choose none? And how do we balance our physical and mental well being in so many states of the unknown versus the projected unknown outcomes of alternative trajectories? So many variables. So many sources of information. So much intense engagement - emotionally, cerebrally….exhaustingly. It’s all an absolute head fuck.

The question is how are we investing our energetic resources spiritually? Let me express that in another way. What can we do for ourselves and for others to generate peace? And what I mean by spiritually is the same as why I refer to our goals being oriented towards ‘self and others’ - that is that we are so much more than a single individual entity. It’s not just ‘me’. It’s everyone that I’m connected to through my relationships. In my case, my friends and family, the larger community. That’s the connections I share on a verbal communicative basis.

Oh yeah, then there’s the global community of my ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ on social media, that are connected to me like you guys through a platform of words and imagery. We interrelate. We are connected. And for ‘me’ I extend my sphere of consciousness beyond the words I speak and type, and beyond the pixel blocks of images and videos. I extend these inter-connective communications from my heart felt intentions through my energetic extensions that are unbound by skin and bones, unbound by the digital technological platforms and the telecommunications between them. Energetically I aim for my intentions to be boundless positivity and to extend to all beings.

When the tide rises all ships rise with it. I love this. Lets raise the tide.

Spiritually, as the interconnected being that I believe I am, as a representative of the universal whole, call it The Divine, God, or simply Pure Love, I frame my intentions as the foundation of my universe. The reason I align my intentions is because I believe that energetically they are communicated from within, though and beyond me. And every thought I have, along with it’s conscious or otherwise, stipulations, has profound ramifications. The Buddhists call it karma. So I align my intentioned thought stream with as much present minded awareness as possible to bring love and peace to all. That’s all! Ha. And yeah of course I fail all the time!!! Yet sometimes I don’t.

Every aspect of what I bring to my experience of being ‘me’, I believe is a manifestation of my consciousness. Wherever my thoughts go, the energy flows. And what I experience, is that I’m continually being tested to transform the potentially volatile repercussions of my mind stream, to flow with positivity. Energetically I watch my responses as much as I can and I ask myself, am I heightened with feelings of strong emotion, or am I feeling the weight of inner conflict deaden me inside? Have I stretched the rubber band too tight due to my preconceived bounded ways of thinking. Or has the rubber band snapped since the collective will annihilated my ability to live out my convictions?

I came back to ‘The Middle Way’. The rubber band of my mind is taught yet not stretched. It’s supple and soft yet not decaying or lifeless. Energetically I am not charged, nor am I devoid of an essence we can call vitality. I am intentionally gathering all my senses, and vibrating with a steady resonant hum, defined for me with a sense of equanimity - a sense of peace! Contemplations generate direction for me. Meditation brings me a greater sense of being present. The awareness of my intentions follow.

My contemplations for now are centred on your happiness. How do we practically approach our day to day? Another way to describe the approach to changing our experiences from negative to positive, is to reset the bar of our expectations. Our fears lead to creating projections and closed scenarios that feel safe for us, but when they don’t succeed in satisfying our desires, these expectations cause suffering. With this in mind, we practice the art of surrender, letting go!. When we accept everything as a gift (shiny and sweet, or bitter tasting and challenging), we can’t go wrong. Pure acceptance of our present circumstances means that we’re always able to feel gratitude for the here and now. Practice it!

Lower expectations and and raise the tide in the here and now with total acceptance. Resonantly I claim from my personal deep belief system, that it is my energetic transmission, The Queen of Communication (The Mother, The Everything), that is the most powerful conductor of good will and positive change. In being mindful and practiced in the art of it’s meaningful alignment and offerings, I send it! Like no tomorrow. And I likewise reinforce this message with the words of The King (intellect, perception, worldly) in understanding that we communicate with each other on so many more levels than just words. But words add context, and can usually help.

Following from my last post, I tap into authenticity, knowing that to portray myself in any other way than truth, is misleading, and invokes negativity in itself. And I stand in my beliefs without fear of the opinions, or potential criticisms of others. Above all though, my beliefs come from wanting the best for all beings, through generation of radical empathy, and heartfelt compassion. So authentically I communicate this with a presence of peace.

I use peace within interchangeably with harmony throughout. Its harmony in our relationships with one and all, that counter balances the fears from all those unknowns. Harmony is held. It is safe. It is loving. It comes from consciously choosing how we frame our thoughts, gear our intentions, and manifest our realities.

Love and peace is in us all when we allow ourselves to become unobstructed by the illusion that we need to fight for our personal right to be heard. The ego, the self affirmation, derails us from love and peace. By simply aligning ourselves with an intention that 'may we all be happy’, using daily practices of gratitude and devotion to the inundation of blessings we’re immersed in, our charge for change in our way, can become a universal unfolding of the only way - to love for all from the heart.

So from the prison of the head fuck, next time you’re present enough to watch your thoughts unfold, accept the scenarios of the present and choose the reality you want to create. Simply rest easy in that perception energetically. The right words, from this authentic stand will come. And if we’re practiced and mindful enough, we’ll hopefully all collectively choose to dismiss the negative habituations of our past, and choose love and peace, harmony for all. This is my hypothesis, give it your best shot. If my results are anything to go by, the heart, unlike the head, is boundless, and can be shared limitlessly with all. The ships are rising!

Conversations Amongst Men - Vulnerable as Fuck

"Yeah mate been good mostly, but also feeling pretty sensitive recently”. Carpark Conversations by Dean Dampney

Alright, this feels like my very first blog post. Even though it’s so not. The reason being that I’m full of stuff ready to fall out of me, and in so many ways the voice that’s speaking through these words, my voice, is feeling like it’s time to yell it out loud. I have no idea what’s coming into the next moment here, but I can tell you it’s going to be impassioned, and with no higher desire than to bring some ideas together in a way that I sincerely hope will start building a forum for men and the beautiful women in our lives. I intention above all that we can move towards and into a space of flourishing together.

Conversations Amongst Men for me traditionally have been laced with small hints of purposeful ‘real’ content, that I’ve consciously tagged as bringing wisdom and connection. These hints have given me hope, that the stuff that I’ve yearned more for is alive (just) and I’ve acknowledged that more can come. But I also acknowledged that it didn’t seem to be a shared dream, or at least a practice.

As my life has unfolded I’ve brought more and more connection into it on these terms with other men. Allowing the hints of good stuff to be infused with more than a hint - a solid dash if not dousing. Because I want to grow! And bring that to other men. And I recognise that as the specific beasts that we are, in our masculine, that we’re the one’s best served to guide each other in this realm.

I’m super mindful, of the joy that light banter and small talk can bring. So not averse to that. I love it in fact. And rejoice in finding that common ground. Be it over a game of cards, a pre jam session yarn, or god help us a game of footy on the tele (insert old wound trigger moan here). BUT where the juice is for me, is to connect with others via the mutually shared expression of first and foremost, authenticity. From here I value in the same voice, honesty, and particularly for us blokes, radical vulnerability. Throw in some deep listening, felt empathy, compassion, and rejoice for each other. And by no means do I exclude women from this equation. I just want to punctate that as men to men, I feel that this is sadly a way of chatting, of being, that’s often sadly lacking.

So first things first. Authenticity. “How the fuck are ya?” my mate says. I reply “I’m feeling emotionally strung out, physically exhausted, and quite angry between tears…”. “Geez mate, hectic….how ‘bout those Rabbitos hey!”. “Nah man, those Rabbitoes don’t mean shit to me. I’m crying out to be heard by another man coz I’ve got some heavy shit going on…”. That’s the practice. Or alternatively, in full authenticity I reply “man I’m fucking stoked, there’s more positive vibes coming to me and through me, that leaves me feeling beyond words but I’d love to try share…”. Authentic, and vulnerable as fuck. That’s what I want to hear from my mates, and likewise that’s how I want to give it!.

Why feels like a fair question. And the reason is that if we can ‘man up’ and voice our truth with authentic vulnerability, strength and conviction in our right to say it how it is, others will hear, and learn to excercise such a simple, yet largely forgotten tenant. For the benefit of all of us! Men and women.

Authentic considered communication is masculine as hell, as long as it comes from truth. Anything less, we can smell a mile away, particularly if those finely tuned senses come in the female form. The reason being that women have practiced and defined the art of authentic communication long before we grabbed a long neck and hit the couch in reply. Hear women and learn.

If it aint practical, theoretical, rational or just plain muscular enough, ask yourself where that’s coming from. “Did I learn tough talk from my old man?”. With penetrative awareness of self and other, we need to make the practice authentic communication for the sake of developing wisdom. There’s too many men sitting alone with no one to hear their cry’s. There’s too many men surrounded by mates, too scared to say how it is, to ask the questions, in fear of breaking protocols. It’s time that men started supporting men. Above all, that needs to happen so women and men can grow better at supporting each other too!

With my masculine Therapist hat on (I’m sure you can picture it - a bit frayed at the edges with a picture of a Marlin embroidered on the front), I’m conscious of so many of my male clients, feeling unsure about what’s ‘safe’ to say and what’s not. We’re so communicatively suppressed that we often go into 'doing mode’, trying to fix, or at least distract ourselves and hopefully our significant others. Instead we just need to lay it out as it is. Compassionately and honestly. Without fear of having said the wrong thing. That’s what’s fearless, and that’s once again, where the juice is!

So last but not least, on this significantly long ‘first blog post’, men next time your mate asked how you’re going, give him your god honest truth warts and all. And by exhibiting such fearlessness you’ll invite his. You’ll be amazed how that intention alone will open doors, and expand our consciousness well beyond the shallow waters of our day to day ‘auto reply’. Give it a shot.

As for me, ‘how you doing Dean?’ I hear you ask. Thanks for asking! I’m buzzed. Or more specifically I’m feeling a resonantly steady hum of energy that’s on the rise and defined by love and joy, and striving for wisdom and all encompassing compassion. I’m also defined in the now by subtle ebbs and flows, sometimes feeling the depth of suffering that world ‘crisis’ have part fuelled, feeling the fear in the streets, and in my conversations with my families and friends, let alone clients. These things are in my field. And therefore they’re also mine. With which I contemplate deeply, meditate and pray that wisdom comes for the sake and for all sentient beings.

If you’ve got this far, wow, I’m surprised. Go lockdown! I say that with nothing but positivity and rejoice that good comes from all. If this has resonated on a level that you’re feeling please send it on.

Kobes and Leif starting young!

Where Values become Dreams

There’s a lot of energy around values right now. For me anyway. How much do you value your job, your shelter (as your home), your life…and even your death? I know I value love and connection along with wisdom and contentedness up there as some of my most prized values. And that love doesn’t flow any thicker than when it comes to ‘my boys’.

So when I was presented with the prospect of hitting fifty, without a second thought I started manoeuvring things in a shameless act of self serving my highest intentions - my values. The idea being that people would either pity or celebrate this milestone enough for them to step aside The Crystal Voyager and relinquish their ties to maintaining the status quo of concepts like ‘work’ and ‘childhood education’. The boys and I, and Indi the pup, thought these things could be easily accomplished in the desert on the edge of the Southern Ocean half way across the Great Australian Bight.

After 3 days on the road, Indi exploded out of her big brothers swag on the first morning of waking up in the desert….and fled for her life into the darkness. Quite possibly never to be seen again. Shit. Not good. Hours later and still waiting for the full light of day, her eye’s danced like headlights of a rally car out of control, before she pit stopped for less than seconds to let me know she was the happiest desert dog alive. For three weeks she didn’t stop.

Arlo was next, and like Indi, he was straight into desert mode. We let his brothers sleep off their road trip junk food hangovers while we jumped on the pushies and started smashing down dusty tracks. This exploration was endless for us both, and for me one of the most beautiful times I’ve had as a dad.

The waves were sick. And manageable for the boys, from 1’ peelers running the length of an olympic swimming pool for Arlo, to a couple of slabs for Marlz to refine his pig dog approach. All three boys thrived in the water, and for me being out there with them and calling them into some of the best waves of their life is as good as it gets.

It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns though. Before the rainbow and the pots of gold was one of the best storm events I’ve experienced since Portugal was declared a National Disaster Zone in 1998. With no land to buffer the deep low pressure systems, the onslaught of piss pouring rain and gale force winds cycled through left right combo’s for 36 hours. We were knocked on our asses with a collapsed gazebo pinning us down, but we remained vigilant and held the glimmer of hope that the storm shall pass. Back to rainbows, sunshine, overhead barrels, fire pits, and more laughs…like it never happened! The second storm that hit shortly after autumn officially turned to winter was a testimony to our recently rehearsed survival skills. We came through it with flying colours.

Back to the old value system, we all thrived in the limitless horizons of space and time there. The bike rides and walks without destination spoke volumes to the lives we live otherwise constantly bound by deadlines or productivity schedules. The love and open heartedness I felt for my boys, our friends, in fact all the amazing people who’s paths we crossed, was as unconditional as the environment that embraced us. The outdoor education system more than trumped any institutional brick building agenda the boys are subjected to otherwise.

And no one got hurt! No wheels flew off. No angry locals, no snake bites, no food poisoning. Just red dusty feral kids and their dad, alongside a bunch of other legends living life to the fullest. Bound by joy and vitality, and awash with the oceans pure goodness. All stuff that’s as valuable as it gets.